It seems that I only blog once a month. I’ve been thinking how Doug and my lives have been this last year and how God has been working in it. We have been so blessed and God’s hand can be seen everywhere.

First, Doug’s drug addiction. He confessed to the world about his drug addiction. He received only love and support.  He couldn’t always see it or feel it but it was always there. Sometimes neither of us could see it.  We were tired and just wanted an end. Sometimes we just breathed God in and out to survive. He is constantly holding us and guiding us. He gave us Dusty. Dusty is always there. He was there when Doug was really bad, not knowing what to do and panicking. He could always put things in perspective and make Doug laugh and calm him down. I knew I didn’t have to worry as long as Doug was with Dusty. I knew that Doug would be better when he got back.  We also got Doug into counseling, and then to a psychiatrist, and on medication.  We couldn’t afford all of this so an unknown benefactor from our church family has been paying for this. Doug has made great strides.  His depression seems to be under control and he is dealing with the issues that led him down his long walk into destruction back into the light. He is learning who he really is for the first time, and I get to see too.  I am so blessed.

After looking back at this year and seeing all of the godly people that God has put in our path, it’s just overwhelming. When we started this journey, we thought or I thought we were dealing with Doug’s back problem and trying to get back into the workforce.  But God knew that we had other things to take care of first.  So now I think that we are back to the back problem. God’s been looking after that also.  God put his in Steve Floyd’s path. Steve has a lot of contacts and is a very influential person. He has been helping Doug with some educational opportunities and has always helped us with some of our legal problems.  Guess what! Since Doug has been seeing the psychiatrist for depression, she has also decided that he may have ADD too, sooooooo now if he does go back to school, he should do really well.  Isn’t God Awesome?

After over 3 years it seems that workman’s comp. might actually be getting it together.  Things seem to be moving forward. My breath prayer has been  “Jesus I trust you.  Please open a door for Doug.”  All of a sudden things in every direction seem to be happening. I have learned this past year not to anticipate what it’s going to be, but just to wait and see what it is.  It’s exciting.

I believe that I have a control problem. I know all of you that know me will find that hard to believe, but it’s true. I keep thinking that I have given everything over to God.  I do that part really well, the part that I struggle with is letting it go. I’m getting better at it, mainly because I have worn myself out and have no choice, but to Let Go! That really hit me today at Church. Dusty gave another wonderful sermon and when it came time to respond he asked people that had burdens to come forward so that the Church could pray over them.  I’m not a come forward person, but I felt I really needed to. I just didn’t have the strength to do it.

I am letting my job get the better of me and trying to control or take responsibility for things that I have no control over and then letting it wear me out. I have told you before that I am stubborn.  I think God let me wear myself so HE could make the point. My new breath prayer is ” Jesus, I trust you. You are in control. Guide me and use me.” I feel better already.  Any prayers for the peace and comfort that only the Holy Spirit can provide will definitely be appreciated by me.

I’ll keep you posted on all of the doors that open.

Praise God!

Noreen

I’m back! It seems like I can only come up with a thought about once a month. I have sure enjoyed reading everyone else’s though. If you just want to tell everyone how your day is going, go to Dusty’s blog site. It has been turned into a comment blog. It’s great fun! OK I better get back to my thought before I forget it.

I get paid bi-weekly. So it’s feast and famine. First week is pretty good and the second week is famine.  Doug and I have grown used to it and manage just fine.  We have had the kids for the first 6 weeks of their summer so it’s been a financial challenge. So, the second week before payday, we refer to it as “Going to Africa”. A place where less fortunate people live and struggle to survive.  We are learning to ration and stretch our supplies. I actually have had a little fun with this and have discovered how very spoiled we are.

The kids are not enjoying it so much.  Brittany, has had fun with it, she and I are on the same page. Anthony just takes things as they are not too much from him one way or the other, but Jamie pretty much panics about the second week and especially Thursday the day before payday.  First, he decided that he wanted to go back to his mom’s.  I think that he really thought that he was going to starve. I said we need to ration, we just can’t go through the groceries, we have to make what we have last.  We can’t snack and we have to make sure that everyone has an equal share.  He thought that instead of rationing that we should ravage everything.  I made sure that I wanted to share my canteen with Brittany and not Jamie. I knew that he would drink all of his dry the first day. Last Wednesday, he wanted to know if he could sleep all day so that he wouldn’t think about eating. Seriously, we are not starving the young man.  I don’t think that he has lost any weight, it’s just the very thought that we might run out. It puts the young man in a panic.

You know we can make it stretch, with no soda’s, snacks and conserving what we have.  Just cooking what we need and trying not to waste anything.  I wish that I could cook like my grandmother and great-grandmother did.  Neither of these ladies wasted anything.  You would never know that you were eating leftovers, every meal seemed like a new creation.  I believe that it’s a lost art. When I was growing up, we had to eat what was on our plates.  We didn’t have a choice of what we wanted.  If we didn’t like what was fixed, it was just too bad. The choice was either eat it or not, but nothing else was going to be prepared and we didn’t eat between meals.  There are 9  in my family and I’m sure it was a struggle it just didn’t seem like it.  I do remember that I hated when mom cleaned out the freezer.

I was raised on a ranch and when it got down to beef tongue, heart and all of those kind of things, I definitely wished there was another option.  But my Dad was adamant that we ate what was put before us and that we cleaned our plates. He made it a challenge so I guess that’s how come it has been fun for me to try and meet the challenge. I believe that we are going to make it, the kids will be going home on Friday, and then Doug and I will only have one more week to go, although we have enjoyed it immensely.  Hopefully ,Jamie won’t have to “Go to Africa “anymore this summer.  You would just have to be here to see the panic that comes across his face when Brittany and I tell him, to get ready to pack up, we’re on our way to Africa.

God bless and have a good day,

Noreen

Today Grampy and Nanna got to spend the day with Karissa at our house.  Originally, we thought that we were going to be able to keep Karissa Sunday night and Monday at her house.  For some reason I thought that I had Memorial Day off. Doug and I love going to my son’s house.  It’s out in the country and they don’t get cell phone reception there. Sooooooooooo we are unreachable. Yea! But then I realized that in fact I did not have Memorial Day off. We had our hearts set on it though, after all Karissa is 1 month and 3 days old. She needs to know her grandparents. We had to change plans.  I called my son and asked if we came and got her could we keep her for the day. We had to work, but I could just put the sign up that said Ring Bell for Manager. We just had to be available but not actually in the office. The parents informed us that they could only supply enough breast milk for 12 hours. So we took what we could get.

We were at Karissa’s house at 8:00a.m. We thought we were just going to swoop in and pick her up. But no, mom had to feed her, and they had to get her stuff ready and yes, they were stalling. The parents looked so sad, when we got her loaded up, we almost gave her back, almost but we did not.  However, if they had asked we would have left her, with no hard feelings. I know how hard it is to let your kids go, even with grandparents, even if you haven’t had any sleep. I needed to be back at Germantown around 9;00 to open up. We didn’t leave their house until 9:05, so our assistant opened up. I rode in the back with Karisa, just in case she needed anything, and Grampy drove us very carefully back. We got unloaded and Karissa settled, and my phone was ringing. It was Brian.  “Mom, why didn’t you call to tell me you made it back?” I said ” We just got here, it takes a little while with a baby, you know.”

Doug is the very best grampy, ever. I enjoyed just watching him be with her. When I was having my babies, and trying to keep house, and do everything you have to do. You miss just spending time with the baby. Doug and I watched her breathe while she slept, and waited a little impatiently for her to open her eyes.  We tried out all of the contraptions that they sent home with us, and enjoyed every single moment with her.  The phone and doorbell were more annoying than they ever have been. Don’t they know it’s Memorial Day and Karissa is here? It seemed like every time I turned around one of them was ringing. I was seriously busy watching our granddaughter breathe. People can be so inconsiderate sometimes.

We honestly have the best granddaughter ever. She is such a good baby. She is really good natured, beautiful, and no trouble at all. Doug is so, so good with her. I actually had to wait my turn to hold her, and believe me I got shorted. It was wonderful.

It was wonderful when her parents came. They came at about 5:00p.m. and they just had to touch her, see her, make sure she was O.K. Yes, Nanny and Grampy had managed to keep all 10 fingers and toes attached, no drama. She was the same at 5:00 as she was at 9:00 in the morning. Her head was a little wetter from all of kisses, but she had survived some time away from mom and dad. I think that mom and dad had just barely survived though. Hopefully, it will get easier to for them to let us spend some time with her.

Praise God, for all of the blessings HE has given us. We are ready for this new chapter in our lives and on payday we need to get some Karissa toys for our house. We can’t wait.

Happy Memorial Day to everyone,
Noreen

Our family loves the Narnia Chronicles. I know that C.S. Lewis doesn’t say that his characters are directly related to the bible but it’s kind of fun to assign characters to them. We went to see Prince Caspian last weekend and this is some of the things that we related too.  What do you think?

Prince Caspian- Paul

Grumpy Dwarf-Doubting Thomas

Asilan-Jesus

Narnians-Gentiles

Attackers-Jews

King Edmond-Peter

Queen Lucy-Mary

What Bible characters do you think the Narnia Chronicles represent?

Thanks for playing,

Noreen

 

 

 

Let’s see, I have been called out to post. I have had several thoughts, since my last post. So let’s see if I can remember one. I enjoyed Dusty’s sermon on Sunday. I am a Martha and sometimes I allow my joy to be taken away. My mission this week is not to let that happen.  I am stuck in an office most of the day and I enjoy being outside and away from phones and people sometimes.  I enjoy working, physically working. I have an assistant that is here to help with the work load. She doesn’t like to clean, and unfortunately there is a lot of that involved in our job. Soooooooo, I do most of the cleaning, most of the time I don’t mind but when there is so much, occasionally, it would be nice to have some help.

I always thought if I led by example, and didn’t ask someone to do something I wouldn’t do, that they wouldn’t mind doing it.  In reality, they don’t mind watching you work yourself to death, they just figure that you want to do it. My other strategy was that if you see something that needs to be done, then you might just get up and do it.  That really doesn’t work either.  It is always there then I feel the need to do it. 

 I’m not a good boss.  I’m not very forceful until I get mad and then that’s not the time to go into everything because it’s just to much.  So most of the time I just do it myself.  Today I am going to sweep the curbs.  I don’t want to be in the office. When I am doing a task like this, I talk to God. It’s peaceful to me. I can work with HIM beside me and we get a lot of things worked out.  Friday, God and I worked on the pool, to get it ready to be inspected and opened.  It looks better then it ever has.  God knows a lot about how much chemicals to put in to make a pool sparkling.  He also knows a lot about gardening. Our flowers out front look better than ever. HE let me over water them, and kill two batches of flowers.  This year I just let Him water them and they look a lot better.  Now I know that they really don’t need soaked all of the time. I pull the weeds and HE waters. 

I usually come back from my tasks feeling pretty good about what God and I have got accomplished even though nobody else may notice what we have gotten accomplished. The trick is not to be disappointed when I come back in and everything else is a mess and nothing has gotten done. ” Martha was worried and upset about many things” that phrase fits me perfectly. I am determined not to let my joy be taken away.

This is the plan today. I am going to do the curbs and enjoy myself.  I am going to visit with God.  I am going to leave a list for my assistant to do and assume that it will be done. I am going to receive the peace and comfort that only the Holy Spirit can provide and guide my heart and mind in Jesus Christ.

Praise God,

Noreen

I get bloggers block a lot. Sunday’s after Dusty’s sermon, the Spirit usually inspires me. He did so again today.

I am a Nana and Doug is a Grampy. Our Karissa was born April 23, 8lbs. 12 oz, 20.5 inches long.  We are going to bond with her tomorrow and Tuesday. We can’t wait and I know that I will be inspired to write about her when we get back but God is inspiring me in a different direction today.

As most of you know this is my second marriage. In my first marriage, religion and going to Church was an issue, so after my divorce, I prayed that God would send me someone that would go to Church with me.  He sent me Doug and I am so thankful. The adventures that Doug has taken me on, I wouldn’t have missed for anything.

Life is an adventure. We have adventures with our parents, children and now we will adventure with our grandchildren. All of us have adventures.  It’s our choice whether or not we take God with us.  I feel so blessed now that I have had a chance to reflect and see how God has been taking us places we have never been before.  I have never wanted to be a lukewarm Christian and spewed out of the Lord’s mouth. I have worried about that.  God wants us to be with him all of the way, with all our heart, strength, mind and soul.  He doesn’t just want  a little of us, not just when we are in the mood or feel like we need to go to church.  HE knows that I love him, I’ll go next Sunday, I’m busy today, attitude.

I was thinking that having a baby is a little like the journey that Doug and I have been on. When the labor starts it’s uncomfortable but tolerable. Then in the middle, for awhile you think O.K. I want it to stop. Just forget it, I’ll just stay this way, I don’t want to go on.  But it’s to late you have to finish.  Then right when you think that you cannot go on, the pain is unbearable, your going to die.  It’s finished, it’s all over.  You are blessed with a child and all of a sudden you forget about the pain. It wasn’t so bad after all, all that you are focused on is the blessing.  You would do it all over again.  That’s how I feel about the journey that Doug and I have been on.

I am not an open person. I don’t reveal all of my private thoughts. It would be hard for me to come forward at church in front of everyone.  I am the person that would seek out someone in private and ask friends privately to pray for me.  Doug is an open book, on his blog and in Church. I admire that. I am not a direct person. It drives my oldest son Brandon and Doug crazy. I beat around the bush until I finally kill the bush. It would be much easier just to say what’s on my mind than to be so indirect. I digress think that that will be another blog.

 When Doug confessed in front of the church about his drug addiction, it was the beginning of our journey with God. God was breaking us down, not just Doug , but me too. God was going to take us on an adventure. The beginning was painful, but nothing compared to where we were going. I didn’t know how long it was going to take.  I didn’t know that there were going to be such dark, dark, days and weeks and months. Not just for Doug, but for me too.  God was laboring with us. In the middle of the process we both wanted to quit, we had had enough. God said No, there is no turning back now. When we got to the point where we were totally dependant on HIM, breathing HIM in and out, because we had no breath of our own, loving him with all of our strength, heart, mind and soul. Trusting him completely, then our blessing came.  The medication is working, Doug is getting better. We have grown.  We have a deeper relationship with God. We have deeper relationships with our brother’s and sister’s, we have a deeper relationship with family, we know God’s love.  WE are SO SO Blessed.  It has been a great adventure.

We know that we have more adventure’s to come and that we are not done with this one. God is with us. It makes me want to say, let’s go on another one, before this one is really over. It’s like being on an amusement ride, screaming and scared to death, and then when it’s done and your safe, you want to go again.  Don’t be afraid to let God tear you down, it’s painful, scary, and hard.  It’s also a wonderful blessing.  It’s real LOVE.  It’s the only way we can learn to be more like HIM. It’s continual because we are not perfect and much work has to be done in us. Each time we do it, HE teaches us and molds us and makes us better. Each time we will get stronger and become more Christ like, it’s a wonderful blessing. 

I am so so proud that Doug is my husband and that God loves us enough to take us on an adventure with him.

 

Praise God!

Noreen

I love playing games and I love to know more about people. These kind of games are good because it makes you think and reflect about yourself. The years are just flying by. Ten years ago, I was a newly divorced lady with 2 children in High School and 1 in college. I was going to college myself at UACCM, 2 year college at Morrilton, to get my Associates Degree in Computer Science. I went to school, from 8 to 2, and worked from 2 to 10, and then tried to see where my kids were in the meantime. It was a really hard time, physically, emotionally, and mentally.  Thank God that he kept my family mostly intact and safe.

What I am going to do today.

1. Meet and greet our new granddaughter. She hasn’t been born yet, but our wonderful daughter-in-law , Carri is working on it. Praise God!

2. Make sure that my son Brian is doing O.K. Praise God.

3. See my other children as we all are waiting to meet Karrisa.

4. Let Go of Germantown for a day and dissolve myself into my family.

5. Praise God for his creations, his blessings and awesomeness.

If I were a billionaire

1. Help Doug with his community for addicts. The mental health field goes hand in hand with this. Definitely need improvement in this area. Most people don’t have money for these services and without money, there is really not a realistic way to get help.  I believe it would help tremendously, in all areas of the community.

2. Definitely pay forward. There have been so many people that have helped me in my lifetime., I would never live to be able to repay.

Bad Habits- Do you really want to know?

1.smoking

2. incredibly unhealthy eater

3.procrastinate

Where I have lived.

Steamboat Springs, Co.

Hayden. Co

Raton, New Mexico

West Cliff, Co

Herrin, Il

Atkins, Ar

Cabot AR,

Sherwood AR

Conway, AR

Jobs I have had

Car hop

Maid

Bank Teller,

Grocery store clerk,

Teachers Aide

Quality Control

Apartment Manager

I don’t know if there is anyone else to tag. I’m going to think about while I’m off to see the baby.

I hope everyone has a very blessed day!

Noreen

 

 

I have had the best day ever! My Dougie, aka The Doug, aka The Dougster is back. The one that I fell in love with. I haven’t seen this Doug for awhile. Our blogging friends have made our day! It was so fun to play on the blogs and do some laughing.  Most fun I’ve had in awhile. Wow that’s kind of sad, my world is pretty small. I’m definitely a cheap date, very easily entertained.

I think that Doug has finally been prescribed the right medication and right dosage. Whooo, that took awhile, but so glad that it is happening. Thank-you everyone for your prayers.  God is so, so good to us. Thanks to everyone for the great day!

Lots of love,

Noreen

I love our church ! I love our preacher! and I love all of the people in it! I believe we are heading in the right direction.  My joyful noise is back.  God made me a cheerful, positive person and when I’m not feeling that way.  I’m lost.  I have to admit that in the last month I’ve been in a funk and lost, but I’m back and it feels so, so good.

God is always with us, God is always near, God answers prayers.  I pray constantly because I am a needy, needy person. Sometimes I feel like God is my only friend, the only one who understands me, the one who made me even with all of my faults. So he gets a lot of you know what I mean, in our conversations because I don’t know if I am explaining myself well. It’s also pretty repetitive.

Dusty has ministered well with Doug and me. Doug and I are truly thankful and blessed that God sent us to University Church of Christ.  It’s a place where we have been accepted and ministered to, and have grown so much spiritually.  Praise God! Our friendships are treasured. It all started with his class about Growing closer to God and having a real relationship with him. Using disciplines, breath prayers, being aware of God, listening to God, and being silent with God.  There were a lot of people who participated in this and I can see the difference in our Church, where the Spirit is leading us separately as people on our own journey’s, and together in the Church. We are having a Ladies class about hearing God and it is all coming together. It’s very exciting, renewing and makes me hopeful and encouraged.

I know that you are all probably tired about hearing about Germantown. Unfortunately since we spend so much time here, it’s a big part of our life. God answers prayers, but you have to look for them sometimes. I know that this will probably sound small to some of you but it has made all of the difference to me and gave me back my joyful heart and I know that God is all behind it.  We went to eat with Doug’s Dad and wife, at Cracker Barrel last night and had a wonderful visit and nice time with them. While we were there we ran into a brother and new friends, Ronnie Stephens, his wife, Sherri and their girls.  Ronnie is a Conway policeman and has been involved in incidents at Germantown more than we would like, but are always appreciative that he is there. He told Doug how much better it has gotten at Germantown and how we were doing a good job.

Just that one comment made my world bright. I have to admit I had fallen into the negativity again.  I told you, I’m horrible about hearing one bad thing and holding on to it instead of the positive. I believe that God sent our brother to us to lift us, me up, in a time of need. Encouraging words are so powerful.  You just have to look and listen and you see God everywhere.  Praise God! Please don’t ever hold back encouraging and uplifting words, you don’t ever know how much someone might need to hear them and how much a simple comment may help. Anyway my joy is back so watch out!

Lots and lots of love,

Noreen

Wow! It’s been a long time since I have blogged.  We have been dealing with what we have been calling ” The Incident” and recovering from the after shocks. I now realize that what I was hoping would be a fast come back is not going to happen. People respond to things differently and the effect that it has had on our residents has been very traumatic.  If it were possible, we could have used a counselor for people to talk to.  When Doug and I started 4 years ago we were turning about 10 apartments a month. This last year we are down to 5 and under. We worked really hard to get there.  This month we are turning 18 apartments.  Not all of them are from what happened, people have different reasons, but I’d say 1/2 of them are. I just wonder if the people that caused this have even considered the long reaching effect that this has caused on very innocent people. The consequences of what they did has seriously effected other peoples lives.  One resident  who really likes it here, is considering moving because her sister won’t let her nephew come over and she really misses him. I’m not a counselor, just a listener, and I don’t have any answers or solutions, they just have to do what is best for them.

We have more patrol, that should make people feel safer, but I think that they think that something is happening instead.  I wish that everything would get back to normal.  I hope that it doesn’t take 4 more years to settle, but the bright side is I think that it is job security.  I don’t think that anyone wants to be a manager at Germantown.  We have heard from the grapevine that some charges may be pending for the people involved and I do believe that they need to be held accountable for their actions, especially for endangering the lives of innocent people and the trauma that they now feel. 

 Sooooo, if bad things have such a lasting effect, the opposite should be true.  Why do people hang on to the bad and not the good ?  Doug wrote a post about how people react to negativity. People can compliment you  all day long but one person can say something bad and that’s what you remember. I am definitely like that.  I try not to be, I really try to focus on the good and not the bad, but I am horrible at it.  Doug can tell you.  I think that is how we treat God sometimes.  HE blesses us, and blesses us, and blesses us. Then something bad happens and poof, we forget all of the blessings and suddenly we don’t remember any of the blessings.  Woe are we, God has forgotten us, turned away from us, doesn’t love us anymore.  We are such babies most of the time.  God is ALWAYS with us, always near, always blessing us. So my new mission is to be a light, count my blessings, so many more than any negative things.  Right now I can’t think of anything bad. My mission is to comfort, understand and push the positive.  Goodness knows their is way to much negative to focus on, but so,so, so much more positive if we take time to remember.

 

Praise God,

Noreen